WHAT’S UP LOVES!
It’s ya girl La, thank you as always for taking the time to read. I am here yet again with another blog! LOVE saying that. Yes, as you can see by the title of the post, I will be discussing the importance of “Loving Yourself Now – In the Present Moment!” I am big fan of self love talk because for so long I have been a victim of self hate talk. Although I can truly say I’ve always loved me; ya know, there has always been something inside of me that has made me, well, care for myself enough to know that I am LOVE. Being the individual that I am, I have been also blessed by people, family and friends to show and let me know that I am LOVED. I am forever grateful to them! However, as we all know, the most important critic or supporter is yourself. Which is why it is majorly important to love yourself in the present moment at all times!
I have struggled with self esteem/depression from time to time. Maybe more or less than others. 🙂 My experience with those emotions has been no fun. It actually comes with physical reactions (i.e. hair loss) for me. Other things from gaining and losing weight, eating properly then not (still a struggle), quitting then picking up tobacco smoke then quitting again (another blog) bad habits was running my life and thoughts which derived from how I felt about myself. The level of how I really loved and cared about myself. I can talk all day about my experiences which is why I am also a life coach, so to keep it on the subject of the title, I want to share a quick story.
Two years ago, I was in a space where things were good, hell great! I was dating my loving boyfriend who is now my loving fiance. I was managing nice free-lance gigs with t.v networks. I was in a new area in LA, things were good. BUT there was still something still missing. My true Self Love. For some reason I found myself doubting myself more than ever. The self hate talk was winning. Like I mentioned earlier my weight has always been a struggle. When I was a young girl, I was a twig actually all the way until my 9th grade year in high school. I did gain weight once one summer as a pre-teen but burned that off once I got to high school. In 10th grade however I gained so much weight, I kept gaining and kept it on until after college. To speed things up, and bring us back to two years ago. I wanted to feel beautiful, and wanted to feel that true Self Love at a high level. I booked a shoot with my friend Charrita Nelson who is an amazing photographer. Her mission statement is “Let me transform you”- and that’s when I knew she was perfect for my mission.
SHOOT DAY: I get to location and I’m excited. Like any other thing I do with importance to me, I get nervous. I was so nervous when approaching this shoot. I was instantly calmed when I saw the photographer and she took over. When we began shooting, off bat I started feeling insecure. It was wild, I still had my clothes on. 🙂 I pushed through though and had a blast and fantastic shoot thanks to Charrita. She honestly helped me get out of my comfort zone and embrace my beauty. I felt it, I felt my self LOVE. Fast forward to when I received and reviewed the photos. Off bat (ha I like saying that) but off bat I was in love. Totally impressed by the shots and such. Then I started scanning and zooming in on more photos this time noticing all my flaws. I mean totally overlooking the beauty. All I saw was fat, flab, and bad skin( another tool that kept me hostage of self hate talk).
I’m sharing this story because I have NEVER showed the photos publicly. Just one or two maybe, and those I was hiding my insecurities. It’s kinda sad thinking about how negative I talked to myself. How bad I played my damn self. So sad, to have been a bully and a witness at that to myself… which is why I am sharing these beautiful pictures now. (see photos below) Well, some… it was a whole damn shoot! I am so happy that I am in a space now where I am always conscious of my true self love. Meaning, I’m not all the way there yet. There are still areas I am working on and pushing myself in when it comes to this topic. I mean I’m now just sharing a beautiful shoot from two years ago that I thought wasn’t good enough to share at all. Self-Love, it’s deep with levels. Hence why I am so big and now an advocate for LOVE and SELF LOVE -LOVEALLBYLA.
I hope you guys enjoyed your read, and can dig my story. My goal is to shed light and bring to your attention that when you love yourself now, you get all you can get. I mean, who knows, I could have gotten a hair modeling gig had I posted then. lol lol, but who knows… What I do know is, I love myself now!
Until next time…
Keep It Funky!
ALL PHOTOS CAPTURED BY CHARRITA NELSON (reefotos-IG)
LOVE YOURSELF NOW!